On Having Babies

I am, at the moment, childless. At 21, with both my husband and me still in graduate school, and without good sources of steady income, I am not at the point in my life where I feel I could adequately provide for another person. That knowledge doesn't stop me from really, really wanting one. It of course doesn't help that my chosen profession keeps me around babies much of the time.

Boybee and I have decided that we can begin a family or at least begin trying to begin a family in about a year from now. Note the "can," this shouldn't be taken as a "will." I will finish with my degree in May of 2009, and Boybee will hopefully be gainfully employed by Sept. 2008, meaning that a new addition to our family in June of 2009 wouldn't be that difficult to manage. I could easily take those few months directly after receiving my degree to recover and deal with an infant before starting a full time job. Since having finishing my degree with an infant would be a pain in the butt, Nov. of next year is the absolute earliest I would ever try to conceive.

I have two competing ideas about motherhood and its desirability. On the one hand, I want a baby. I really want a baby. I want to have a baby with Boybee, ideally one that has his pretty eyes with my 20/20 vision. I like infants a lot, and would love to have one of my own. On the other hand, I also really like being able to go hang out with my friends whenever I want until the wee hours of the morning. I like being able to schedule my day based on my whims and my own concepts of what needs to be done and when. Babies severely limit one's personal freedom - especially with regards to time management.

When one is heterosexually partnered, healthy and in love, it can be really hard not to have babies. Thank God for medical birth control that takes care of itself!