Everyone has weighed in on the #HavingItAll discussion that raged this week in the feminist blogosphere and twitter. Every important point has basically at least been raised and most of them have been hashed out and beaten to death.
So, really, what I just want to say is : This conversation is why Feminism is still relevant. This conversation highlights just how far we have come and just how far we have to go.
In the mental health field, we are encouraged to use a tool with clients that I call the "Magic Wand" - we ask, "If I had a Magic Wand, and could do/fix/change *anything,* what would I do/fix/change? What would my life/the world look like after I did/fixed/changed things with the Magic Wand?"
I think that we as a society need to really sit back and think about that question with regards to how we have families and how we have careers. This is not a women's issue, it's an everyone issue but it IS a feminist issue and I think it's a vital one because it demonstrates the real need for feminist lens and critique in society as a whole.
So, what would my Post-Magic-Wand world look like?
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Some Links!
And now for another thrilling installment of interesting things on the internet!!! This will be a break (mostly) in your regularly scheduled programming of politics and feminism. Really, I prefer geeky stuff but sometimes the rage wont shuddup and wait its turn. For the moment, the rage is whispering. Pure bliss.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Work Work
Today, for the first time, I really get why it is that so many people go through with scheduled inductions and c-sections for non-medical or quasi-medical reasons even though they're really bad for mom and baby.
It is hard to plan for babies! I'm getting down to the home stretch and I still have a four week window during which it would be healthy and normal for this kid to show up. Four weeks. FOUR WEEKS. That's basically a whole month. That represents two pay periods, countless monthly reports and invoices, and so much other work! Oy.
And that's just work, which is the easy part - there's also the whole getting-my-life-and-home-ready-for-a-totally-new-and-completely-helpless-person thing. NBD. We still need to get a crib and car seat but at least I've done my research with Consumer Reports et al so I know which brand and model to buy for each. Then there's figuring out all of the other random stuff we'll need and that's so much harder! Each parent I know has completely opposite experiences of every other parent I know with regards to what's "necessary" and what's "useless junk" - swings, butt paste brands, cosleepers, slings, strollers, play-mats, the list goes on and on. And then there's clothing - is it going to be 5lbs or 10lbs when it gets here? No one knows!
And even all of that is the easy stuff. The rest, like, you know, it actually getting here alive and healthy... I don't even want to begin to think about. It's so scary and so huge.
That's why people plan inductions knowing that they're putting themselves at higher risk for all sorts of complications. That's why people plan c-sections, which are MAJOR surgery folks, when not medically necessary. It's to have something known. Some order. It's so that they feel like they have some semblance of control in the process. Having control over when the baby shows up makes sense in a perverse way since it'll probably be the last time a parent ever gets to have control over the kid for the rest of their lives.
Oy.
It is hard to plan for babies! I'm getting down to the home stretch and I still have a four week window during which it would be healthy and normal for this kid to show up. Four weeks. FOUR WEEKS. That's basically a whole month. That represents two pay periods, countless monthly reports and invoices, and so much other work! Oy.
And that's just work, which is the easy part - there's also the whole getting-my-life-and-home-ready-for-a-totally-new-and-completely-helpless-person thing. NBD. We still need to get a crib and car seat but at least I've done my research with Consumer Reports et al so I know which brand and model to buy for each. Then there's figuring out all of the other random stuff we'll need and that's so much harder! Each parent I know has completely opposite experiences of every other parent I know with regards to what's "necessary" and what's "useless junk" - swings, butt paste brands, cosleepers, slings, strollers, play-mats, the list goes on and on. And then there's clothing - is it going to be 5lbs or 10lbs when it gets here? No one knows!
And even all of that is the easy stuff. The rest, like, you know, it actually getting here alive and healthy... I don't even want to begin to think about. It's so scary and so huge.
That's why people plan inductions knowing that they're putting themselves at higher risk for all sorts of complications. That's why people plan c-sections, which are MAJOR surgery folks, when not medically necessary. It's to have something known. Some order. It's so that they feel like they have some semblance of control in the process. Having control over when the baby shows up makes sense in a perverse way since it'll probably be the last time a parent ever gets to have control over the kid for the rest of their lives.
Oy.
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