Mission Impossible A Million (SPOILERS)

Earlier this week, after a craving for Pasta House Co. salad had been satiated, I met some friends at the local multi-plex to see Mission Impossible Some Number. I saw, and loved, the first Mission Impossible movie and for the life of me, I can honestly say that I cannot remember whether or not I saw MI 2 or 3 but this 4th one was supposed to be good and it's easy to get me to agree to things when Pasta House Co. salad is involved. Some thoughts on this film:

First off, like fifteen people pull fake faces off in this film. The fake face thing is the hallmark of the Mission Impossible brand and they did it up. They also show how they make the fake faces and try to make it all plotful and exciting. Really, having worn facial prosthetics in the past, I have no clue how in the world we are supposed to suspend disbelief and think that these things would actually work. But. Then again, maybe that's just what they want me to believe? (Cue X-Files music)

The other hallmark of this franchise is the bead of sweat glistening and threatening to fall off of the Good Guy's nose and this one drop of sweat would RUIN EVERYTHING if it fell. This happens, except only as an homage to the first film - it's not actually relevant. The guy is being flown through some weird super computer by an electro-magnet on wheels, though. Electro-magnetic flying through super computers is cool. 

Second, that dust storm. Epic. I doubt that I was the only person who saw this part of the film and thought CHEKOV'S GOGGLES ARE IN YOUR SUIT POCKET. I may, however, have been the only person who saw this film in theaters who yelled that out at the screen. Whoops. 

Third, but probably most importantly, this film failed the Bechdel Test. There are only two scenes (basically back to back) in which two female characters are in the same room. In the first scene, Good Guy Chick (who happens to be an actress-of-color, and for this, I give props while being horribly ashamed at Hollywood that this is props-worthy) hands her gun off to Simon Pegg (who in the world would ever give a gun to Simon Pegg?!?) because she is so angry at Bad Guy Chick (who happens to be a blond bombshell... no props to give here) that she might kill her and they want her alive for Reasons That Are Never Fully Explained. In the next scene, Bad Guy Chick has knocked Simon Pegg out and stolen the gun because SIMON PEGG, and now Good Guy Chick and Bad Guy Chick need to fight it out. No words are exchange between HIYAHs and pseudo-sexy grunting. *Sigh* 

While Good Guy Chick is African-American (per wikipedia her dad is and her mom is european american) and someone's love interest (ok, the guy who died in the first five minutes of the movie) which is cool, her character is kind of... flat. Maybe I am expecting too much? Admittedly, Simon Pegg has no backstory or motivation beyond being funny and Good Guy Who Is Not Tom Cruise's motivation is that he feels responsible for Tommy's wife dying in .... the last movie? ... so, maybe I am asking too much. Ok. Scratch this criticism. All characters in this film regardless of race/gender are flat. At least they kick asses and/or are Simon Pegg.  There is a lot to be said about being Simon Pegg. 

TL;DR Version: Mission Impossible Some Number is full of fake-face ripping, explosions, and electro-magnetic flying through super computers. It's lots of fun but you can turn your brain off for the entirety of the film.

For REALS TL;DR Version: That new Mission Impossible movie is exactly what you expected.